Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
The Last Hospital Day
Today, it was the last day I went to the hospital as an outpatient in Okayama. So I decided to confess my feelings towards Dr.H and wrote them down on a letter last night. I'd thought it must be my last chance to tell him.
Therefore, when I heard he was off and had a holiday today, I wasn't able to hide my disappointment. I couldn't pass my letter to him today, should I wait another day to? Besides, i did have serious business with him. I have to get an top important application from him that I have asked him to fill up. The deadline was close, but I couldn't see him. It was so unlucky..And what was worse, I got to know he seemed to already see somebody...I just felt my heart broken at the moment..
Now, I am wondering if I should pass him the lettter in the case of already knowing he might have a girlfriend..I wrote something about how I am grateful to him and my longing for him. I just wanted him to know that I like him and thank him for doing everything for me. But now, I'm just not sure what I should do next. I will see him next Tuesday, I don't know what to do...
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1 comment:
HI! HI! Hide here;) Seems u have some dilemma and can't make a step foward.
U wrote something about how u're grateful to him and your longing for him. And u just wanted him to know that u like him and thank him for doing everything for u.
From this, I thought u are saying that u just want him to know how u "were" thinking of him.
But the last sentence, "But now, I'm just not sure what I should do next." made u get back to the time u were liking him. Well...dilemma.
My opinion is, neither give the letter nor just give the paper what u need him to fill in, makes changes. In the sentence, u wrote the "past" feelings so give him or not is not a big problem to u. Isn't it? Putting the feelings behind u, means that u put it away somewhere else about how he acts or think about u when he gets the letter, what u will going to do after he gets the letter (eg:be friends, that' it, or..what?) and so on.
Mostly the sentence about what u would be going to do is really pessimistic and u're not telling "what do u want to do?"
I mean, it's passive and defensive.
He is not a person whom u meet everyday at school. He is older then u, doctor, man, and so on. He lives in a different atmosphere. U'll get nothing unless either of the two be active. And, I don't know him so I only can say this to u. Be active!! ;)
U know, dilemma worth nothing to your distress. U'll get stuck in the melting pot.
What is your feeling? Well, give it or not is both will be a good memory in the future, but now what did your feeling say??
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