The day to leave the hospital was decided ater the meeting last night.
I will leave this place which I spent 88 days on Friday. However, I am not completely leaving the hospital. I would come back and be hospitalized again for another progressing treatment for two weeks.
Although it is still unclear, but I would probably have been absent from school for six months.
i was comtemplated that it is the best for complete rehabilitation. To tell thet truth, I am quite worried about that decision because i can't tell what will happen while I was on rest. What made me feel regretful is I have no plan how to spend my long "vacation"! I don't want to be drawn back far away. But it is my destiny. I should obey it. Yeah, I have to.
Of course, there is never all bad points being hospitalized for such a long time. Because of my sudden disease, I was deprived of my freedom studying at camplus and doing the Kyudo club. But it is also undeniable that I have also learned many precious things in the hospital. I learned coorporation, patience and thoughtfulness. Sometimes you must receive all the happening whether it is good or bad for you. You just don't deny it or even try to get away from it. As Jupitar's lyric, " it is not meaningless things happend on you. Then you will require how to think things in possitive way. Behave brightly, smile happily and people see it will give you more than you give!
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Monday, March 28, 2005
Asaechi and me☆ミ
The beautiful girl on the right is Asaechi.
She is a nurse working at the hospital.
I took picture with her because today is the last day she would be in here.
According to her talk, two years ago, she came to here from Yamaguchi University Hospital as an exchange nurse.
And today her period in here is finished and she has to come back to where she belongs to. The place where, I think her families and people she loves live. I can deny I was sad that I couldn't see her bright smile and hear her laughing again, but I will hope for her good luck. Sobbing....
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Sunday, March 26th, 2005
What all the patients in the hospital would feel in common is the precious value of Health.
Since I was hospitalized, I could hear other patients, almost elders talk to their friends repeating " if only I was healthy, I would be doing~~" " Never had I imaged I would be weak so much when I was quite well" several times.
Whenver I hear these words, I feel my heart sunk cuz I had the same feeling with them. Even though it is said to be unknown what cause the disease I have, I could have taken care of myself and payed attention to my health condition. Sometimes I feel not so good because there are a few minus elements when you are in the hospital. The conversation of patients sometimes would make you down.
Some minus talks are like:
" my diabetes are getting worse due to the harmful aftereffects of the medicine"
or
" I have repeated being and left hospitals for several times, I wonder I would be like that in my life"
Well, it is irreversible you would hear such words as far as you are in the hospital when sharing each other's experience and status. Most of the time you would feel highly relieved because people here have same health problems and feelings with you that lead you not to be lonely.
Plus points and minus ones are all together. What I should do is get used to it and enjoy it:-)
Since I was hospitalized, I could hear other patients, almost elders talk to their friends repeating " if only I was healthy, I would be doing~~" " Never had I imaged I would be weak so much when I was quite well" several times.
Whenver I hear these words, I feel my heart sunk cuz I had the same feeling with them. Even though it is said to be unknown what cause the disease I have, I could have taken care of myself and payed attention to my health condition. Sometimes I feel not so good because there are a few minus elements when you are in the hospital. The conversation of patients sometimes would make you down.
Some minus talks are like:
" my diabetes are getting worse due to the harmful aftereffects of the medicine"
or
" I have repeated being and left hospitals for several times, I wonder I would be like that in my life"
Well, it is irreversible you would hear such words as far as you are in the hospital when sharing each other's experience and status. Most of the time you would feel highly relieved because people here have same health problems and feelings with you that lead you not to be lonely.
Plus points and minus ones are all together. What I should do is get used to it and enjoy it:-)
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Wednesday, March 23th,2005
Wednesday has finally come today! I woke up feeling my heart beat for excitement because today I am seeing my two good friends I haven't seen for a long time.
At 2:30pm, I got an e-mail from Rakdy( the left girl on the picture) that she and Kiyomi ( the girl on the right) had arrived at the hospital. When they appeared in front of me kind of sudden, I was amazed because I was brushing my teeth just then. At that time, the other roommates are just have their rest, I took them to the cafeteria where I am always having breakfast.
Time changes everything. Rakdy and Kiyomi all look prettier and younger then before. And they seem happy to see I am looking better. I felt sorry for them when I knew I had made them worry for me so much. Rakdy and Kiyomi showed me some pictures taken in Hiroshima, famously as Genbaku. I always envy them for visiting so many famous spots in Japan. But I am much relieved because it means they are able to enjoy themself in Japan.
After enjoying chatting for about two hours, we take some pictures when we leave. I won't forget this day ever. I appreciate them for bothering themself to see me from so far. Today it is the happiest day for me!
Monday, March 21, 2005
Thanks to my parents especially my mom☆
Thanks to my dad for fishing fresh fish for me almost everyday.
Thanks to my mom for taking these fish for my dinner time and tell her funny story to make me laugh and happy when I was knocked out down for every little thing.
Since I was down for a too sudden disease and hospitalized, my parents especially my mom never have failed to come to see me and take care of me. Thanks to them, I rarely feel lonely and was able to make dozens of friends with nurses and doctors. It is never forgetable for me that mom took care of me living with me in the same room for nearly one month while I was incredibly sick. She is the only person who is always beside with me and support me when bothe my body and mind are getting weak.
Luckily, the hard time has gone and right now, I was almost as healthy as common people. But for my parents, I would probably down completely. Thanks, dad and Mom! I love you~~
Monday, March 21, 2005
Three Straight Holidays
All the nation people have three straight holidays from last Saturday to this Monday. And here, the hospital is not exception.
This morning, as soon as I wake up, I was told to wait for a while untill my doctor ( we call him Hana-chan) come take my blood for a sample. I was a bit surprised to hear that at first because as we know, taking blood is generally the job of nurses. Despite of that unexpecting news, I cheered yes! in my heart for being given a chance to have a talk with Hana-chan.
However, twenty minutes past 8, I didn't catch the sight of Hana-chan. I was kind of suspicious because I know blood-taking is to be done before breakfast which is prepared at 8. Breakfast time is come, but Hana-chan still didn't appear. Finally I pushed nurse call and asked if I could eat my breakfast. Then I got to know that he hasn't come to the stuff station yet. Which hit it at home that it is holiday today so there are not enough nurses. Doctors are also allowed not to work today. What is more, judging from my experience here, earlist,doctors would not come to work before 8 but for emergency. Well, of course Hana-chan did come and take blood before I have lunch time. Anyway, I was happy to see him and we had a ball.
Sometimes, when I see stuffs ( doctors, nurses or cleaners) come to hospital and do their jobs at the same place and do same things every day, I can't help wondering if they don't feel dull for their job. How many people do really find meaning as to their work? They are all busy around and they all seem not to have their own times. At least in my case, I want freedom even when I was graduate and go to the society and work.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
kindergarden in Okadai ver.2
The weather in Okayama is very changeable and unpredictable just like a baby.
It tends to be chilly in the morning and hot and humid in a daytime. And that makes me eager to go out and relax. The world outside seems much more attractive to me than usual. When on earth can I leave the hospital? If I am in the hospital longer than ever, I am afraid I would probably come to be a member of here completely and what is worse would not like to return to the reality once I used to live in. This thought leaves me annoyed and....irritated.
Well, I am not always worried, I have also truely happy experience these days. As getting a new cellular phone, chatting with the people I love and of course sleeping and etc. However here, I am going to tell a happening yesterday that bothered me quite much.
Since I was beside myself with joy of possessing my so-called high tech cellular phone, I was as foolish as to send to wrong address. I mean I have e-mailed to two different people. One is a friend of mine in my dormitory, (that's fine to me) but .. the other is a senior!! of mine in my club!!which made me to apologize twice..I was really paniked and ashamed at that. I think I ought to sit down thinking well before I act. Hehe.
Today I can't see Hana-chan ( my doctor's nickname) and I am boring.That's why I am writing diary or taking some pictures outside the window. And the upper pictures are kindergarden and field belong to Okadai. I envy these children for chatting and running as freely as could be. I nearly forget the days I devoted myself to Kyudo and campus life. Sadly, but it is true. Whatever, one thing I can confirm for myself is that no matter what would happen in the future, I never want to lose the friends I got in my club.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Wednesday, 16th, 2005 ж Sunnyж
This morning, my blood was taken for sample and I realized a truth that once you get accustomed to something, you won't be feared. What I want to say is i completely got used to blood test and I felt no pain for that. I can hardly recall the days when I was too nervous and frightened to sleep well a few minutes before blood taking. Once you get used to, you fear nothing.
Today I accomplished one great goal. I had a good company with the other three patients. As I had mentioned on last post, I was the youngest one in the room and I thought it hard to communicate with them. However, for a blessiong chance, we had a real good mood and talked about each other's state of disease. We shared some feeling in common.
Besides, there are two happening made me happy.
One is that the needle on my neck for dip infusion was finally pulled out today because blood test proved virus was completely out of my body. Whatever, the doctor I like very much promised me. I was happy today because I could spend time with him longer than ever.
The other is that I was allowed to go out of hospital in a day! It is the first time I got this permission. So tomorrow I am planning to change my celluar phone with my hands really touching them and decide which one to buy instead of choosing it on catalog. Even though I still feel exhausted more easily than healthy people, I am excited and looking forward to breath fresh air! I was being waited for this day too long. It gave me the confidence that I will be better soon and leave the hospital.
Today I accomplished one great goal. I had a good company with the other three patients. As I had mentioned on last post, I was the youngest one in the room and I thought it hard to communicate with them. However, for a blessiong chance, we had a real good mood and talked about each other's state of disease. We shared some feeling in common.
Besides, there are two happening made me happy.
One is that the needle on my neck for dip infusion was finally pulled out today because blood test proved virus was completely out of my body. Whatever, the doctor I like very much promised me. I was happy today because I could spend time with him longer than ever.
The other is that I was allowed to go out of hospital in a day! It is the first time I got this permission. So tomorrow I am planning to change my celluar phone with my hands really touching them and decide which one to buy instead of choosing it on catalog. Even though I still feel exhausted more easily than healthy people, I am excited and looking forward to breath fresh air! I was being waited for this day too long. It gave me the confidence that I will be better soon and leave the hospital.
Monday, March 14, 2005
Baghdad Burning < Japanese version>
I happened to find this book on the internet. This book is about a blog which is written by a Iraqi woman. It tells us the mundane fact of Iraq after the War. I was totally shocked when I read it because I can feel her anger, sadness, and despair against against the interim governing council ("the puppet government") and Bush and his administration.
After reading her daily blog, I have changed my thought toward Iraq and also, of course American government. Only the people in war place know the tragedy and fact of what they are put in. Some foreign media tend to report in their favor. Something that is not so favorable for them is deleted or edited. And such media are always effected by their nation government. NHK ( Japanese nation broadcasting) 's editing chaos is a good example for that. We have a right to know the truth and what is really happened in the world.
I am still keeping reading Riverbend's ( the girl's nickname) blog. It is hard for me because I feel my heart is broken whenever I read it. There are so many things that I don't know but that we should all know as a member of this earth. What should I do for them? I ask myself in my heart. Ah, i'm sad now...really...
Riverbend's blog URL.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Friday, March, 2005
Friday and Saturday are kind of special days for me.
They are the days that I can't see my doctor because he is away on business for two days. So instead of him, there is always another doctor comes to patient room and check my health condition. Although he is completely different type from my docotor, but I find he is also a interesting person. That's really a lucky thing for me.
But somehow, I know I feel most relaxed when I have a conversation with my docotor. When I talk with him, I am no doubt spending the most happy time. It's a good way for your health and I believe it will help me fight with the disease since the state of your mind decides everything.
That's all what I learned in the hospital.
Another thing I have learned in the hospital is the spirit of coorporation.
Since I am never a cooporative person before, I had a hard time to live with completely strange patients in the same room. Besides, we are all in different age zone. The most of patients are all over 30 or 50 years old. Different value decides the life style here. They get up at 6 and go to bed at 9~10. Perfect regular life style!! Thanks to it, I come to get up at the same time unconsciously. As a minority and a youth, I feel obligation to behave correctly.
It's not a easy business but well, I think I will try since I never want to hear they grumble like " Oh, I can't stand the bad manner of the youth of today! I can't ever imagine it in our time!" and bla bla. Um, it's difficult..really.
They are the days that I can't see my doctor because he is away on business for two days. So instead of him, there is always another doctor comes to patient room and check my health condition. Although he is completely different type from my docotor, but I find he is also a interesting person. That's really a lucky thing for me.
But somehow, I know I feel most relaxed when I have a conversation with my docotor. When I talk with him, I am no doubt spending the most happy time. It's a good way for your health and I believe it will help me fight with the disease since the state of your mind decides everything.
That's all what I learned in the hospital.
Another thing I have learned in the hospital is the spirit of coorporation.
Since I am never a cooporative person before, I had a hard time to live with completely strange patients in the same room. Besides, we are all in different age zone. The most of patients are all over 30 or 50 years old. Different value decides the life style here. They get up at 6 and go to bed at 9~10. Perfect regular life style!! Thanks to it, I come to get up at the same time unconsciously. As a minority and a youth, I feel obligation to behave correctly.
It's not a easy business but well, I think I will try since I never want to hear they grumble like " Oh, I can't stand the bad manner of the youth of today! I can't ever imagine it in our time!" and bla bla. Um, it's difficult..really.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
My Diary in the Hospital
Hello, everyone! What's up? It's been a long time no updated my blog because of my disease.
Maybe somebody have already known why. Yes, I have been hospitalized in my hometown Okayama since the start of January.
It was quite rare and weird experience for me because it was my first time to spend the new year in the hospital.
Well, as I was allowed to use my computer in the room, I decided to keep a diary in apple-peace blog.
So now, I'm writing what happened today in my diary.
This morning, I had a regular blood test to check my state of health. What made me feel relieved was that the result wasn't going bad. I am looking forward the day I can leave the hospital and have a new start of my life of campus. I can't wait it!!
Anyway, even though I hate the truth I am a patient, but I Like all the stuffs of this hospital.
They are really kind to me everyday and I am lucky because my doctor is really handsome and a gentleman. I like him and I'd like to keep a contact even after I leave the hospital. If it is possible, I am definitely the most happy girl in the world!! What is more, I am feeling good today
because he called me Miki Chan instead of ~San!! It Is the first time he called me that way.
I can't believe it for a while and that's why I was SO Happy today!
Hehe, everything will be fine after you get through hard days.
That's what I learnt in my hospital life.
Maybe somebody have already known why. Yes, I have been hospitalized in my hometown Okayama since the start of January.
It was quite rare and weird experience for me because it was my first time to spend the new year in the hospital.
Well, as I was allowed to use my computer in the room, I decided to keep a diary in apple-peace blog.
So now, I'm writing what happened today in my diary.
This morning, I had a regular blood test to check my state of health. What made me feel relieved was that the result wasn't going bad. I am looking forward the day I can leave the hospital and have a new start of my life of campus. I can't wait it!!
Anyway, even though I hate the truth I am a patient, but I Like all the stuffs of this hospital.
They are really kind to me everyday and I am lucky because my doctor is really handsome and a gentleman. I like him and I'd like to keep a contact even after I leave the hospital. If it is possible, I am definitely the most happy girl in the world!! What is more, I am feeling good today
because he called me Miki Chan instead of ~San!! It Is the first time he called me that way.
I can't believe it for a while and that's why I was SO Happy today!
Hehe, everything will be fine after you get through hard days.
That's what I learnt in my hospital life.
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